What does it mean to grow up? Does it mean to become understanding and not be quick to pick a fight? Or be able to do anything by oneself and not be a burden on anyone?

I asked myself these questions after meeting Kazuko Iba, a 59-year-old lawyer in Matsuyama, Ehime Prefecture, in the western Shikoku region.

She told me about a 5-year-old boy who visited her office one day together with his mother, who had come for a consultation.

When the session was over and Iba was seeing them out, she said to the child, “Do you think you’ll be a lot bigger when you are here the next time?”

Smiling and raising his hand high, the child replied, “I’ll be kinder.”

Recalling that moment, Iba said she felt as if a magician had waved a magic wand and cast a spell.

“For that boy, growing up meant becoming more compassionate, and I was stunned,” she said.

That got me imagining what it would be like if a society existed where everyone grew gentler and more generous with each passing year.

It would be wonderful to become a gold medalist or do well in school, but that isn’t really necessary.

Life would be unbearably stifling if one’s achievements were all that mattered.

Years ago, Iba was the manager of an information-technology company.

When she became ill from overwork, she started studying law as if to seek refuge.

When she passed the national bar exam 12 years ago, she was 47. As an attorney at law, she specializes in gender issues and supports sexual abuse survivors.

It was raining when I left her office in Matsuyama.

Opening my umbrella, I thought: “People can grow up at any age; they can become infinitely kinder.”

I wondered if an “adult” is someone who believes that and keeps struggling.

--The Asahi Shimbun, March 21

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Vox Populi, Vox Dei is a popular daily column that takes up a wide range of topics, including culture, arts and social trends and developments. Written by veteran Asahi Shimbun writers, the column provides useful perspectives on and insights into contemporary Japan and its culture.